CruisingGay.com's Blog

August 11, 2009

The Difference Between Gay Park/Toilet Sex and Straight Park/Toilet Sex

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , , , , — cruisinggay.com @ 3:11 pm

posted by Dan Savage on October 15, 2007 @ slog.thestranger.com

The police are always busting men that have gay sex in public places but they never bust couples that have straight sex in public places. It’s proof that the authorities are homophobic and that men that enjoy public sex—gay and straight-identified cocksuckers—are being persecuted and it’s not fair!

Sadly, no.

While straight people can and do have sex in public—couples in sexually moribund LTRs are sometimes encouraged to have sex in public—there’s no such thing as a cruisy straight park. There isn’t one particular bathroom on, say, the UW campus where straight people go to have anonymous sex with other straight people. There aren’t websites directing straight men and women to corners of particular parks or choice public toilets or forested trails where they’re likely to find other straight people looking for quick, anonymous fucks.

No, when straight sex happens in public it’s usually because an opposite-sex couple has sought out a private spot where they hope no one—not grandmothers out on walks, not heterophobic cops, not other horny straights—will discover them. Once they find that secluded spot, they drop their drawers, have their skeezy straight public sex, then leave and never return.

Straights don’t overrun certain sections of certain parks, straights don’t turn a corner of a Volunteer or Woodland or Westcrest park into an open-air straight bathhouse, they don’t lurk in public toilets they’ve read about on the web. The police rarely get complaints about straight couples carrying on in one section of a park because straight people—even the ones that have sex in public—don’t carry on in one section of the park.

When the police do get complaints about straight public sex they know that a failure to respond isn’t going to result in the area being overrun by straight people seeking public sex. By the time the police arrive the straight couple is long gone and unlikely to return. There’s literally nothing to police.

So, yes, while both straights and gay have public sex, the impact of straight public sex vs. gay public sex is very different. Consequently the police response will be different. If anyone is applying a double standard here it’s defensive gay people that refuse to acknowledge that the similarities between gay public sex and straight public sex are few.

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