CruisingGay.com's Blog

August 27, 2009

About Gay Cruising – Keeping Safe Guide [rainbow-project.org]

Filed under: Gay Cruising — Tags: , , , , , , , , , — cruisinggay.com @ 1:17 pm

Cruising is a term used by men to describe the practice of sending and receiving verbal and non-verbal signals, which show that you are attracted to someone else. There are various methods of cruising ranging from subtle to extremely direct methods, and men “cruise” each other in various different places and settings i.e. street, saunas, bars, parks, internet etc. Cruising is just another way that men express their desire and attraction to each other. To many men there is a certain thrill or excitement attached to cruising but it can also potentially involve putting yourself in the way of harm. Therefore, it is important to minimise these risks and help avoid any danger to yourself or others.

 

In order to cruise safely here are some helpful tips:

1. When you arrive, have a good look around and identify possible escape routes in case of an emergency. It might also be worth visiting the area during the day to get a sense of space, routes, open and enclosed areas etc.

2. Try not to carry any valuables on your person such as wallet, jewellery or phone.

3. Bring condoms and lubricant with you if you intend on having sex – don’t assume the other person will have brought some. It might be a good idea to bring some anyway (just in case things go further than expected).

4. If cruising over the internet, avoid giving out personal information such as address, primary email address, telephone number etc.

5. Meet in a public place to begin with – you can then decide if you want to continue on with the relationship.

6. If sending a photo – avoid nude and explicit shots. Remember, these can be copied and distributed.

7. If posting a photo on your profile, avoid nude and explicit shots as anyone can access these.

8. If possible, tell a friend when you intend on going through a text, email or phone call.

9. If meeting for a drink, watch what you drink and stay in control. Avoid leaving your drink unattended because of the risk of your drink being spiked.

10. If cruising in a sauna, remember to keep hydrated, particularly if you’ve been drinking or taking drugs. Also, carry condoms and lubricant on your person by placing them under the strap on your keychain.

11. Never use Amyl nitrate or Butyl nitrate (poppers) with Viagra. Both work by opening blood vessels to allow greater blood flow and together, can cause heart failure (even in men who have no history of heart problems).

12. Remember that cruising should be fun and safe, if you feel unsure or think things are heading in a direction you don’t feel comfortable with – leave. You are under no obligation to do anything with anyone.

13. The Rainbow Project discourages you from any sexual behaviour in public places – whilst cruising itself isn’t illegal, having sex in public areas could lead to you being arrested and charged with a criminal offence.

About Cruising [rainbow-project.org]

Filed under: Gay Cruising — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , — cruisinggay.com @ 1:13 pm

Cruising

The Rainbow Project does not recommend cruising or cottaging due some elements of it which are illegal, and due to the dangers associated with attacks and unsafe sex. However if you decide to go for it keep these following tips in mind to ensure a safe and pleasant experience:

  • Bring plenty of condoms and lube and insist on safer sex; respect yourself and your health!
  • Be discreet when having sex. The more discreet you are the less chance there is of police activity or gay bashers.
  • Only go cruising when you are not too drunk or on drugs. You will need to be on your guard at all times
  • Leave your wallet and ID at home. Some attacks involve robbery and you do not want your identity to become known to your attacker.
  • Wear clothes and shoes you can run in and do not wear headphones.
  • Before you start checking out the men, check out the surroundings for exists and escape routes
  • Be aware that some gay basher might pretend to be gay. Trust your instincts!
  • Take any used condoms, wrappers etc. home with you. This kind of litter will draw complaints and police attention.

REMEMBER

Being at a cruising or cottaging area is not illegal, but having exposing yourself or having sex in public where someone could see you is without doing something unusual like looking peeking underneath a cubicle door or taking out the binoculars.

If you get arrested, stay calm, co-operate but only give your name and ask for a solicitor. The solicitor will advise you on your rights and what to say and is bound by client confidentiality.

If you get attacked remember that this is a crime, whether or not you were involved in something illegal. Report the attack to the local police station and ask to speak to the Minority Liaison Officer. Someone from The Rainbow Project can escort you if you prefer someone else there. If you are not sure about reporting the attack, come and speak to someone in Rainbow first to consider your options.

SAFER CRUISING ON THE INTERNET

When you are mentally healthy you feel good about yourself, enjoy relationships, learn confidently and overcome your difficulties. When you aren’t, you may feel overwhelmed by misery, anger or fear.

  • You do not know who you are talking to; in a chat room anyone can pretend to be anyone and any age.
  • Do not give out your home address or landline number or any other details until you have met the person and trust them.
  • When you arrange to meet up let someone know where you are going to be and arrange for them to contact you during the meeting and let the person you are meeting know you have made these arrangements.
  • Do not get too drunk; you need to stay on your guard and your performance now or later might not make the best impression.
  • You are under no obligation to have sex with the person you are meeting up with. If you decide to go ahead insist on safe sex and bring condoms and lube.
  • No chat room company will allow their staff to contact customers. If you are being blackmailed contact the Minority Liaison Officer at your local PSNI office.

SAFEST CRUISING

For the safest form of cruising visit a gay sauna. After paying an entrance fee you will be in a safe and clean environment with like-minded people and condoms and lube freely available and it is legal! Going to a gay sauna does not mean you have to have sex; some men go just for the company or just to relax and be themselves. Most saunas provide a service where you can make an appointment with a member of staff to show you around the facilities first if you are nervous about going.

August 26, 2009

A Sex Stop on the Way Home

Filed under: Gay Cruising — Tags: , , , , , , , , , — cruisinggay.com @ 7:49 am
By Corey Kilgannon
Published: September 21, 2005 @ nytimes.com
cruise_184_1_650There is a narrow parking lot in Cunningham Park in Queens surrounded by playing fields for adult softball and youth soccer and baseball. At one end of the lot, retirees arrive to practice their golf and mothers in minivans gather to wait for their Little Leaguers.

The other end is popular with another set with a much lower profile in this suburban setting: gay men cruising for sex. Their playing field is the parking lot itself and the goal is a sexual encounter, usually quick and anonymous.

Manhattan may have its gay bars and such traditional pickup spots as the woods of the Ramble in Central Park and the piers of the West Village. But in the less-accepting climate of the suburbs and the boroughs outside Manhattan, gay men often resort to courting one another from the relative safety and privacy of their cars. They troll remote parking lots that become de facto pickup spots well known in gay circles but not to the general public.

Long Island spots include Two Mile Hollow Beach in East Hampton, the Field 6 parking lot at Jones Beach, a rest stop near Exit 52 on the Long Island Expressway and the park-and-ride lot on Route 110 in Melville. Each has its own culture and often its own set of protocols, ranging from parking position to the flashing of headlights or blinkers as mating calls.

The parking lot in Queens seems to be especially popular with men who lead ostensibly heterosexual lives but show up for sex because it is quick, easy to get and secretive, regulars say. The lot, along Hollis Hills Terrace just south of 73rd Avenue in Queens Village, is close to several major parkways, and its location helps make it popular with men who commute between New York City and the suburbs, where they often have a house, a mortgage, a wife and children.

“The vast majority of men who come here are married,” said one longtime parking lot user, who like the other men interviewed there recently would not tell his name because of concerns ranging from embarrassment to fears of gay-bashing.

“I can’t tell you how many guys I’ve had here who were wearing wedding bands, with baby seats in the car and all kinds of kids’ toys on the floor. It’s on their way home and they don’t have to get involved in a relationship or any gay lifestyle or social circles. They don’t even have to buy anyone a drink or be seen in a gay bar. They just tell the wife, ‘Honey, I’ll be home an hour late tonight.’ ”

Regulars say that the married men enjoy the risk and recklessness of semipublic sex, which usually means receiving oral sex in their cars or having other sexual encounters in the woods nearby.

“Some aren’t getting it at home,” the man added. “Some say, ‘I’m not even gay. I’m just bored.’ ”

Almost any time from noon till 9 p.m., when the lot is officially closed, the scene is the same. The narrow section has two long rows of parking spaces into which the men back their cars, forming two rows of cars facing each other with a thoroughfare between them.

Each newcomer trolls this thoroughfare with all eyes upon him and surveys the other men in cars, who may either perk up and look interested or shut the window and look away. Then with a dramatic swoop, the driver will back his car next to the car of the man he is pursuing.

It all has the deliberate positioning, shifting and movement of a chess game. The parking lot is a fishbowl and the action unfolds like a soap opera each day. Some longtime lot regulars who are openly gay enjoy gathering to observe and narrate the forays and entreaties as they occur. The lot serves the lonely as well as the lusty, they said, helping men seeking friendship and a place to socialize and bond.

“There’s so much loneliness among gay men,” one lot user said. “A lot of guys just want someone to talk to.”

The parking lot’s use as a gay cruising spot goes back at least to the 1960’s, several older men said. “I spent the halcyon days of my youth here,” one said. “This place was paradise back then.”

As for sex, the regulars say that they prefer the parking lot to gay bars since there is little in the way of drugs and alcohol and there is more honesty about sexually transmitted diseases. Many regulars say they make arrangements to go home together or to a motel since a strong police presence makes sex in the car or the woods too risky. They add, however, that for certain men, this risk only increases the excitement and allure of on-site sex.

“You would not believe the guys who come here,” said a 50-year-old Queens man who repairs boilers and is a regular. “You have judges, doctors, lawyers, firemen, cops, sanitation workers. You have guys coming here with totally normal lives, married with good jobs.”

Another set of parking lot users is much more reluctant to discuss the cruising activity. These men begin to arrive sometime after 5 p.m. wearing shirts and ties and driving S.U.V.’s and snazzy sports cars. These men tend to be slightly jittery. Sometimes their cars have tinted windows. Generally, they refuse to discuss the parking lot with a reporter or say they have simply come to read a book or relax in their cars.

While most lots are far from public view, the one in Queens is hidden in plain sight. The lot can be found on Web sites listing gay cruising spots, including one that describes it as a “cruisy parking lot” that “seems safe and private enough.”

The activity seems not to be noticed by nonparticipants. Even the softball players who arrive after work and change their shirts outside their cars do not seem to notice the admiring audience they attract since most of the gay men do not leave their cars.

When contacted about the parking lot, the president of the Friends of Cunningham Park, Marc A. Haken, said he was “totally unaware” that there was sexual activity there.

Mr. Haken said that some years ago there was a well-known cruising spot in another parking lot, farther inside the park, and that many participants often repaired to the woods for sexual encounters.

“You would see one guy in a car and then another head would pop up, or they would gather and have sex in the woods,” he said. The lot was partitioned off in recent years for official vehicles, he said, adding, “I guess that’s when they – I hate to say ‘they’ but I don’t know what words to use – they migrated to the other lot.”

He said that there had been no complaints from park users and residents.

“But I don’t think that 10-year-olds in a parking lot on the way to soccer should see some guy getting oral sex in a car,” he said. One recent evening, a half-dozen mothers stood chatting, waiting for their children to finish soccer. A stone’s throw away, a group of gay men stood narrating the attempt of a man trolling the lot in a tan sedan to woo the cute man parked in the black S.U.V. with tinted windows backed into a spot.

“The guy in the brown car’s a dog, he’s always here,” the man narrating said. “I’ve never seen the black car before. But watch, here he’ll pull right up to him and see what happens.” Within moments, the man in the tan sedan hopped into the S.U.V. and the windows closed.

“Woop, there he goes,” the narrator said. “You go, girl.”

While gay gatherings take many forms in ethnically diverse Queens, from the scene in Astoria Park to the gay bars serving Central and South Americans in Jackson Heights, many ethnic groups have strong taboos against homosexuality.

“Society doesn’t accept us and it’s hard to meet people, sexually or socially,” said a 42-year-old graduate student from Queens visiting the parking lot. “You know, not everyone who’s gay lives in Manhattan and runs in packs like ‘Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.’ “

August 24, 2009

Gay singer George Michael on BBC 24 News

Filed under: Gay Cruising, Gay News — Tags: , , , , , , , , — cruisinggay.com @ 7:37 am

gay singer george michael intends to sue the people who are behind his sex scandal allegations; he was spotted – and photographed – in the notorious gay cruising area of hampstead heath

Perverts Fun Park

Filed under: Gay Cruising — Tags: , , , , — cruisinggay.com @ 7:34 am

Men Cruise Pervert Park in Schenectadys Central Park for Fun

PERVERT PARK – TV NEWSCenter 6

Filed under: Gay Cruising — Tags: , , , , , — cruisinggay.com @ 7:33 am

Some Of the News Coverage of “Pervert Park” The Section of the park where men seek other males for fun times. This is located in Schenectadys beloved Central Park.

 

August 19, 2009

Real (Gay) Men Don’t Cruise: Larry Craig, Gay Identity, and Ideology

Filed under: Gay Cruising, Gay News — Tags: , , , , , , — cruisinggay.com @ 3:31 pm
Larry_Craig_official_portraitMen having sex with other men in public (observable) places have always presented a challenge to advocates for civil rights for queers. On one hand, the LGBT rights movement in the United States has historically included a push to transgress social and cultural norms of sexual behavior, which are often used to repress alternative modes of sexual expression. On the other hand, the increasing legal and social acceptance of queer sexuality and the emergence of more private spaces to find sex partners has mitigated the need for cruising and other outlaw forms of sexual expression. Additionally, as gay rights advocates continue to press their cause in legislative and judicial fora, condoning public sex seems increasingly to be a liability. Recent highly visible controversies involving men who are looking for sex with other men in public places reveal sharp ideological divides in queer communities over issues of sexuality and identity, as people argue about the role of sexual behavior in constructing gay identity and the place for unconventional expressions of individual and group sexuality in an increasingly mainstream social movement. This paper analyzes the discourse in queer fora surrounding public sex for the ideological rifts and ruptures it reveals.

Get the paper here

 

August 18, 2009

US columnist suggests using attack dogs to stop gay cruising

Filed under: Gay Cruising, Gay News — Tags: , , , , , , — cruisinggay.com @ 10:57 am

By Staff Writer, PinkNews.co.uk • August 12, 2009

parkCREDflickrusermeredithA newspaper columnist in Georgia has suggested using attack dogs to prevent men meeting for sex in public spaces.

Dick Yarbrough, a conservative columnist in the Marietta Daily Journal, proposed a “doggone solution” to the “boy-boy problem” of public sex in two suburban parks.

He wrote: “With a little instruction, dogs could be taught to severely dislike the gay lovers in Burruss and Wildwood and bite them in the fanny and do what City Council should have done years ago – chase them off to Atlanta where they belong.”

Yarbrough’s rancour also extended to smokers and mobile phone users, who he suggested could also come in for the dog solution.

“Assuming that works,” he added, “we will then tell the canines that cell phone users are really just possums with bad attitudes. The dogs will take it from there and then maybe the rest of us can have a little peace and quiet in Glover Park.”

Anti-cruising website disappears after PinkNews.co.uk investigation

Filed under: Gay Cruising — Tags: , , , — cruisinggay.com @ 10:51 am

By Jessica Geen • July 17, 2009

pinknews.co.uk

cruisingcarsA website devoted to exposing the faces and registration numbers of people in gay cruising areas has disappeared following a PinkNews.co.uk investigation.

Earlier this month, we exclusively revealed that the website, cruisingscene.co.uk, was publishing the uncensored images, raising concerns over privacy and data protection.

PinkNews.co.uk cannot ascertain why the website has disappeared but understands that it was removed after our report.

GX Networks, trading as 123-Reg, is the company which processed the domain name registration. It declined to comment.

The anti-cruising website is currently under investigation by the Information Commissioner’s Office.

Set up to raise awareness of the “disgusting” practice of gay men meeting for sex, it focuses on the Haldon area of Devon, near Exeter. Local residents have previously complained about finding used condoms and tissues in the area.

It warns: “All over the country there is a disgusting underground world that most decent members of society have little or no knowledge of. This world is one where outwardly heterosexual men with wives and families at home go out ‘cruising’.

Several PinkNews.co.uk readers voiced their concerns about the website. One reader, who wished to remain anonymous, told us the site was “vile” and “homophobic”.

Stephen Loughrey of Carter-Ruck, a law firm which specialises in libel and privacy law, told PinkNews.co.uk: “In my view this is a gross invasion of the privacy of the people whose photographs have been published. The activity being reported upon here is consensual sex between adults. While it is distinguishable from the circumstances of the [motorsport boss Max] Mosley case (in that the activity being reported upon is happening in public), there is no public interest in publishing unpixelated photographs showing the car number plates and faces of those purportedly engaging in this activity.

“Although the individuals involved may not have a reasonable expectation of privacy while engaging in the activity, they have a legitimate and entirely reasonable expectation that photographs of them doing so will not be published to the world at large.

“While the activity may potentially constitute a minor public order offence (if for example local people have raised complaint), the degree of the intrusion into the private lives of those pictured is not proportionate to the public interest supposedly being served by the publication.”

Anti-cruising website publishes uncensored photos of faces and car registrations

Filed under: Gay Cruising, Gay News — Tags: , , , — cruisinggay.com @ 10:38 am

By Jessica Geen • July 9, 2009

pinknews.co.uk

cruisingcarsThe Information Commissioner is to investigate an anti-cruising website after an exclusive report by PinkNews.co.uk.

The website, set up to raise awareness of the “disgusting” practice of gay men meeting for sex, publishes uncensored images of car registration plates and faces of men allegedly involved.

Cruisingscene.co.uk focuses on the Haldon area of Devon, near Exeter. Local residents have previously complained about finding used condoms and tissues in the area.

It warns: “All over the country there is a disgusting underground world that most decent members of society have little or no knowledge of. This world is one where outwardly heterosexual men with wives and families at home go out ‘cruising’.

It adds: “Many of these men partake in unprotected sex with each other, indeed their preferences are advertised for all to see on the websites referred to above. They then obviously go home to their families and will resume ‘normal sexual relations’ within that home, passing on goodness knows what disease to these completely innocent people.”

Several PinkNews.co.uk readers have voiced their concerns about the website. One reader, who wished to remain anonymous, said the site was “vile” and “homophobic”.

He told PinkNews.co.uk: “What is really worrying is what … this sort of vigilantism can lead to. The Sexual Offences Act of 2003 was supposed to mean that we can now meet in public, but if we have to tolerate this sort of one-sided behaviour, then no real gains in our freedom has been achieved.

“Cruising areas, in rural areas especially, mean a place where gay and bisexual men can meet, as usually the surrounding towns and villages are poorly served by gay bars.”

Although the Information Commissioner’s Office (ICO) was initially unsure whether the site was breaching data protection laws, it is now launching an investigation.

An ICO spokesman told PinkNews.co.uk: “We will be investigating this website to establish if it is processing personal data and if so, whether it is in compliance with the Data Protection Act.”

One company, whose van was featured on the website with its registration number and company details clearly visible, said its vehicle was not in the area for cruising, adding it would be contacting the ICO to have the image removed.

Stephen Loughrey of Carter-Ruck, a law firm which specialises in libel and privacy law, told PinkNews.co.uk: “In my view this is a gross invasion of the privacy of the people whose photographs have been published. The activity being reported upon here is consensual sex between adults. While it is distinguishable from the circumstances of the Mosley case (in that the activity being reported upon is happening in public), there is no public interest in publishing unpixalated photographs showing the car number plates and faces of those purportedly engaging in this activity.

“Although the individuals involved may not have a reasonable expectation of privacy while engaging in the activity, they have a legitimate and entirely reasonable expectation that photographs of them doing so will not be published to the world at large.

“While the activity may potentially constitute a minor public order offence (if for example local people have raised complaint), the degree of the intrusion into the private lives of those pictured is not proportionate to the public interest supposedly being served by the publication.”

The website’s domain name is listed as belonging to the cartoon character “Scooby Doo”. But 123-Reg, the company that processed the domain name registration, told PinkNews.co.uk that they believe the name belongs to a Mike Rowland. The rest of the information they have on file is fake so it is difficult to trace him.

Professor Peter Sommer, a well-known expert in privacy and data protection at the London School of Economics, told PinkNews.co.uk: “If the pictures were taken in a public place, there is probably no protection the Information Commissioner can give. But there is possible protection under privacy rights in human rights laws, such as those used by celebrities who have been photographed with their children or worse for wear coming out of a nightclub. Whether there is a public interest is arguable.”

Local residents have previously complained about the issue of men meeting for sex in the woodland area.

In March, one woman told the Express & Echo she had documented more than 150 vehicles in one of the most popular sites.

“It happens at all times of the day and night and the litter left behind is disgusting,” she said.

“There are used condoms, soiled wipes and inappropriate literature all over the place.

“It should be a pleasant area where children can run around freely, but it is being spoiled by these people. I think the police are too afraid of being labelled politically incorrect to deal with it.”

Superintendent Richard Baker, in charge of policing the area, said it was a “complex issue” but added it was a low priority compared with violent crime.

In May, Lincolnshire man Colin Haw, 47, was given a four-month suspended prison sentence for a Section 4A Public Order offence.

He had filmed a motorist urinating at a cruising spot while shouting homophobic abuse and threats at him. Haw later posted the footage on a website.

PinkNews.co.uk contacted Exeter police but have yet to receive a response.

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